Kim Hill Tried To Wear Out God But She Couldn't

"She lived in shame

For forty more years than she should have

Losing the days

To fire and brimstone and "could haves"

The words to Kim Hill's song "Wide" from her album Broken Things reflect the heart of a woman who is revered as one of the most effective ministers to hurting women today. You know Kim Hill the singer/songwriter, perhaps you are a lady who has attended one of the women's conferences at which she has served as a worship leader but she is so much more than that.

Kim Hill wants to make sure that Christians are known for loving people from all walks of life whether they be divorced, homeless, gay or drug addicts. She believes that the church doors should be open to welcome them all. "The church should be a place of comfort that cradles all sinners no matter what the sin," she says.

I have gone on record as saying that Broken Things is a Dove Award caliber CD. The album is full of songs that not only are great folk/rock tunes but should act as the social conscience for the church of 2006.

Hill says that the song "Wide" is, "born out of one of the things that break my heart. (Often) women in their sixties or seventies will come up to me and tell me that they have lived in shame about their divorce for (perhaps) forty years. Maybe they were divorced when they were nineteen and were remarried when they were in their early twenties. (Now) they have a beautiful family and grandchildren yet there is still this thing that they are so ashamed of. Sometimes even their best friends don't know they were married before and divorced. They feel like they can't be a real leader in the church. Maybe they can serve in the nursery and that's about it. Women tell me that story over and over again."

At the conferences where Hill ministers the women attending confide in her, 'God didn't throw Kim away so maybe he didn't throw me away either.' She says, "They are set free from that lie that they have lived for so long. I literally have prayed and cried with women and I am completely amazed that they have lived in shame for that long. It just breaks my heart."

The personable songwriter says, "I had an idea to write a song (Wide) about these women and when I talk to them how I wish I could go back and talk to them forty years ago to tell them what I know of who God is. He doesn't throw them away."

"Wide" was co-written with Margaret Becker. "We wrote the song so fast that we both laughed. We couldn't have written that song fifteen years ago because we both had to live life, have our own hills and valleys before we could write a song like that," she says.

"A Million Pieces" is a continuation of the same theme. The melodic rock tune talks about trying to pretend there is no hurt associated with crisis events like divorce. Despite an alarming and escalating rate of divorce within the walls of the church the talking heads of various church groups would rather turn their heads and look the other way.

"She did everything she could/To hide the pain away" Hill sings. While women of her mom's generation and before suffered in silence and tried to put on a happy face as struggles appeared in marriages. They might have been in abusive situations or even found themselves divorced but the pressure was there to ignore the pain. Hill is thankful that today, "A lot of women are getting help and are becoming whole people because they are able to address the reality of their lives instead of shoving it away and pretending its not there. Our generation is so much more vocal about things in our lives that don't turn out so great."

In many cases Hill believes the message that women are hearing from the Christian community is, "You are going to make God look bad or your family look bad so don't talk about these things." Hill's song "Just The Same" penned by Kate Miner delivers a soft gentle message to those hurting women. The singer barely above a whisper sings, "Oh You love me just the same."

If you have ever been on the receiving end of an ex-spouse's public relations campaign or perhaps the rumor mongering of those who are on the outside but pretend they are in the know then you will be able to relate to what the singer's friend told her, 'I know you want to go put flyers on everybody's car at church one Sunday morning but you can't.'

"My pastor said, 'Kim you have to trust God with your reputation. Time and truth walk hand in hand. You just have to put your head down and walk.' That was the hardest thing in the world for me to do because a lot of times all you have is your reputation and what people know of you. That was a very difficult time for me," she says.

"I talk to women all the time whose husbands have walked out on them and left them or whose fathers left them. It is such a foundational issue in their life that they have to deal with for years. I think God is not like an earthen husband or father in that way. He doesn't leave. For women to get that is really huge."

One of the most difficult things for people experiencing loss of any type including the death of a loved one is the sense of isolation. Hill says, "So many people give lip service (and say), 'We really care about what is going on with you.' And I am as guilty as anyone; so many times we really don't want to know. Life is very messy. In my situation things were very messy. I think people are trying but I think the church has a really hard time with things that are messy. They don't know what to do with it. Over and over again I felt that the lesson I learned was I wore everybody out, the pastors, counselors and my friends. The truth that I felt God was saying over and over to me is, 'Kim you can't wear me out. Pour your heart out to me, run to me. I will never ever leave you.' As simple as that truth is when you are in crisis that is one of the most important things in the world to believe and remember is that He really will never let you go. He really will never leave you," she says.

In the second part of this two part series Kim Hill talks about living a victorious life in Christ as a single mother and how worship draws her closer to God.

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Jonny Lang Bends Some Fabulous Notes on "Turn Around"

For those of you who at sometime in your life have experienced the joys and angst of dieting you may recall just how mouthwatering good that slice of pie or piece of cheesecake looked to you. You wanted to savor every last morsel of it if only you could. Hold that thought because that is exactly the way you are going to feel when you begin to spin Jonny Lang's new CD "Turn Around".

There are thirteen delicious Blues, Neo Soul and good ol' Gospel songs on this splendid album. Singer, songwriter and guitar virtuoso Jonny Lang was a childhood wonder kid. Early in his teenage years he was sharing the stage with Buddy Guy and B.B. King. Lang's debut CD "Lie To Me" which was released when he was fifteen went platinum. The next year "Wander This World" was released and it too went platinum. It won't be long before "Turn Around" joins those two albums in that stellar class.

The album in many ways chronicles the Blues artist's life. Although he is only twenty-five years old he has seen a lot, done a lot and changed a lot. He would tell you that he has been rescued from much. He owned the world at fifteen and descended into a life of drugs and alcohol by his late teen years. It therefore makes all the more poignant songs such as "Thankful" a groovin', hip swaying Gospel tune. The song will get you up off your chair, out of your concert seat and dancing where you are. "Thankful" boasts the incredible vocals of Lang and Michael McDonald. There is also a spectacular performance by the choir providing backup vocals but the names are too numerous to mention all the gifted singers. Go check out the song credits on the CD cover because these people are worthy of you taking the time to do so.

I guarantee that you will be hooked in the first thirty seconds of the opening track "Bump In The Road". Lang possesses a soulful rasp that comes from deep within and is filled with passion. "Bump In The Road" demonstrates the R&B/Blues sensibilities of a man who will dominate the Blues scene for the next quarter of a century.

As you listen to the second and third tracks you will run out of superlatives to describe what you hear. Nobody has sung soul with this much passion and energy since James Brown was at his peak in the sixties.

The title track "Turn Around" alone is worth the price of the CD. There is an extended guitar solo by Lang that ranks up there with anything you have heard from Bonnie Raiit and Eric Clapton.

"My Love Remains" is a gentle tune with a distinct southwest flavor. The song has rocked the charts all summer long. The song can best be described as poetry set to music.

"Put on that smile it’s time to face another day

Tell everybody everything’s o.k.

How much longer can you play this game?

Tell me how much more can you take

I see the broken heart you try so hard to hide

I see the tears you hold back in your eyes

I sing the song that you might realize

You’re not alone and I’ll be there,

Like the sun that continues to shine

Just beyond the clouds in the sky

And if ever I seem to be so far away

Remember my love remains"

The melancholic "Only A Man" paints the bleak picture of what Lang's life had become before he climbed out of the miry pit of addiction. The song transcends into whispers of a better life and happier days. Throughout the tune Sara Watkins' fiddle first paints mournful shadows and then provides peaceful overtones. The real jewel in this song however is the duet that Lang performs with his wife Hailey. Hailey's delicate vocals join her husband's unique blend of grit and falsetto.

The 12^th track "On My Feet Again" swings closer to R&B than it does straight up Blues however Lang doesn't miss a beat. It prompts one to ask how a white guy still in his mid twenties got blessed with such a seasoned soulful set of pipes that belie his age.

Turn Around (the CD) is about a guy who turned his life around, is riding the wave and like his outstanding song says, "Anything Is Possible". The singer lets you know that it might not be easy but you can climb that mountain and it is backed by references to Martin Luther King Jr. including a sound clip from King's famous 'I have a dream' speech.

Lang's incredible riffs are supported by Jim Anton's outstanding work on bass and Drew Ramsey's licks on rhythm guitar. Honorable mention for great instrumental work on Turn Around goes to the horn section comprised of Quentin Ware (trumpet), Jim Horn (baritone sax), Barry Green (trombone) and Chris Dunn (tenor sax). Shannon Sanders' organ grooves are memorable.

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John Lee Hooker Jr. Is So Cool, He's As Cold As Ice

While the Texas sun is melting those ice cubes in your margarita and the temperature soars you can still be cool with John Lee Hooker Jr's new CD Cold As Ice. Hooker is a working man's Blues artist. "I write what I've done, lived and witnessed. That's what you hear, what I've experienced," he says. Hooker spent the better part of two decades fighting off the demons of alcoholism, and drug addiction. He spent time in jail for the later.

He took a few moments to reflect upon what turned his life around and in a positive direction. "When you are level with the ground and you are tired of being on the ground you are going to do one of two things. You are either going to stay there or you are going to have the desire to get up. My dad would always tell me, 'You got too much talent, to be down there.' He was a great encourager. You get tired of being in that valley. I didn't want to stay there. Everybody can't say that. (Some people) will say I don't want to be here but I can't get up. I wanted to get up." Hooker credits God, family and friends as making the difference.

The year 2004 was a breakthrough year for Hooker as he received a Handy Award and was nominated for a Grammy, both for his CD Blues With A Vengeance. How does John Lee Hooker Jr. feel about the accolades now coming his way? "It means a lot because I witnessed my dad working very hard catching a bus to work, getting a ride to work, carrying his own equipment. I watched how hard work changed his stature into a giant stature. It’s hard work that brings about these things (such as the awards) so when I won (The Handy Award) and I was nominated (Grammy) it was proof to me, not that I needed proof but it was proof to me that it was a direct result of the hard work. This is what I am supposed to have right here the nominations and the wins. That goes for anybody. If you work hard you get a paycheck or you get a promotion. You won't get it laying down and being complacent with what you are doing. You gotta' work hard and that's what I am out here doing. I'm out here on the road promoting the CD. I believe in it. I am sure one way or the other it is going to pay off. That's why I am out here. I am not out here just for the money. Keep in mind one of the rewards is seeing and hearing the requests from the people who have already purchased my CD Cold As Ice. It tells me that people are listening to what they have heard on the radio and they want to hear it live. Hard work brother that is what it is about."

Hooker mixes traditional Blues themes of lost love and heartache with modern phrases like "received a text message" ("You Blew It Baby") Will "Roc" Griffin is outstanding on the keys, while the guitar duo of John Garcia Jr. and Jeffrey James Haran bend some great Blues notes.

Hooker talks about the necessity to keep evolving the Blues, "Music grows just like everything (else). Everything changes but it is still the Blues. We are out here (touring) and that is what we are doing keeping the Blues alive." He sees combining newer styles and yet retaining an element of traditional Blues roots as being essential to the continual production of quality Blues music.

Fans of more traditional style Blues music are going to love his eighth, ninth and tenth grooves on Cold As Ice. The songs "Trapped", "In The Mood" and "Oh Baby" highlight the musicianship of Griffin and bassist Frank "Tebo" Thibeaux. Once again Haran and Garcia lay down some terrific licks.

The title track "Cold As Ice" is not a song for the faint-hearted woman in the listening audience. The reference "Cold As Ice" is a reference to a woman who can only be described as a modern day Jezebel. Rather than using hard-hitting lyrics that leave you wondering if the man thinks all women are evil Hooker he uses parody and humor to take a lighthearted approach to examining a toxic relationship. I am sure before long women in the audience at Hooker concerts will be singing 'He was cold as ice' and I suspect that would put a smile on the Blues man's face."

Hooker perks up when I asked him who came up with the idea for the cover of Cold As Ice. "I did." He is dressed completely in white, a suit, fedora, shoes, shirt, tie and boutonnière. He is standing on an iceberg or glacier and other than his name all that appears on the front cover is the title Cold As Ice in a pale blue and white font. Not only does the image aptly communicate the name of the title track but it sends a not so subtle message that this man is cool. The CD cover is the best that I have seen in years.

"When you say something is hot you want to get in the desert or have some fire behind you," Hooker says laughing. "If one listens to the lyrics (Cold As Ice) the girl was cold. If that is your title track then of course you want to put emphasis on what you are singing about. I have to represent something about the track. You know what I'm saying? This here woman was cold and deceptive," he says.

Songs such as "Four Hours Straight" focus heavily on sexual prowess but once again it becomes more of an underlying theme for a discussion about relationships. I asked Hooker if there is a risk associated with putting out songs so heavily imbued with sexual themes. He replies quickly and strongly, "Just listen to your rap music they are the ones that are raunchy. What I said you will hear on a bus you will hear in a movie theater or a café. It's the Blues I am not talking about any detailed sexual content. I am not talking about body parts. I'm singing the Blues. Four hours straight is just a boast of one's sexuality. It's as simple as that. He makes muscles about his sexuality. It's not rated x. I'm not using (curse words) because I don't curse. That's my answer."

"I Got To Be Me" is symbolic of the career path that Hooker has taken. Early in his career he was expected to follow in his famous father's footsteps. During hiatus people probably whispered about the wasted talent and since his comeback too often others have inferred the influence of his father upon his career.

"He (Hooker Sr.) was so tall in stature and cast a giant shadow. If I was out there trying to fill his shoes I would fall flat on my face. I mean this was the great John Lee Hooker. I am nowhere near him. I'm not even trying to be. I am out here being me. That is the point of this whole thing is to be me not anybody else. Like the song says, "I Got To Be Me". Blues fans everywhere should be glad he is.

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Ellen Johnson Paints a Masterpiece with These Days

“I don’t paint so I guess in my music I try to paint (using) words and sounds. People have made mention that with this CD (These Days) they hear all these subtleties and nuances. I do that on purpose because I am not just trying to sing a song I am trying to add colors to it with my voice,” says Ellen Johnson from her home on the west coast.

The well spoken Johnson continues to talk about her passion for music, “If you walk out in nature and look at beautiful scenery, it’s not always the same and there are different emotions, pictures and colors that evoke in different moments. I think that is what jazz does.”

From her home near a marina and wildlife sanctuary the photos of which can be found on her CD cover, Johnson certainly has a daily inspiration that infuses her music.

“It (These Days) starts out with very bright and deep colors, and then it goes into pastels. All of these songs came out of my experiences. I hadn’t put out a CD in seven or eight years. I’ve had a lot of experiences since then and they haven’t all been good (she says laughing). I have also had a lot of wonderful experiences. I think that is what the colors (represent) for me, from the harshness of the colors to the softness of the colors,” Johnson says.

One of those major losses was Mac her English Sheepdog/Setter cross who had been with her for seventeen years. “He was my best friend and he died a couple of years ago. He went through a lot of things with me in my life. I know some people don’t understand that animals sometimes get you through hard times. They love you unconditionally and are there for you. They add something to you and give you a connection to another part of life. I loved him so much and I still miss him terribly,” she says.

Life experiences have added to the depth and sometimes the shadows in Johnson’s music. “In my life the music has always been the one thing that has pulled me through situations. (Sometimes it is) just singing and being able to release some of that (emotion). It helps you to sing in a deeper way. There are songs that I sing (and she laughs) that now I have a real understanding of what those words are all about! I have a much closer relationship to the music,” she says.

Johnson observes, “I think there are things that we go through that we can in another medium. It can be something that is very healing and also gives back. I think your writing becomes deeper and richer. Your performance becomes deeper and richer.”

Although Johnson’s taste for music is eclectic and she proclaims a fondness for classical, pop, folk and musical theater, jazz seems to be where she has found her home at the moment. The common thread for Johnson is the music must be well written, have depth and come from the heart.

“I really like interesting lyrics that say something thoughtful and have depth to them. (I like lyrics that) make you think for a minute hmmm. That’s what poetry is, images that evoke emotions,” she says. It was these elements that early in her career drew her to Joni Mitchell’s music and later in life has created an affinity for the works of 20^th century poet Maya Angelou.

Whether it is in poetry or in music Johnson is drawn to art that provokes an emotional response. “I think there is music that comes from you being bare and exposing yourself,” the singer says. She goes on to say that she suspects one of the reasons she finds herself in jazz is it tends to be less commercial than some other genres and more often comes from a deep seated emotional base.

“The reason I am attracted to jazz at this point in my life is I like the idea of being in the moment and communicating to people spontaneously. I love improvisation because of that. It allows me to express something in the moment. I also love it (jazz) because it has the perfect balance of discipline and freedom meaning that you have to know what you are doing. Once you know what you are doing you have the freedom to take it somewhere else or to see it from another point of view and for some reason that really appeals to me,” says Johnson.

She continues, “There is no hook (in jazz). You can go in different directions. The melodies are sophisticated and when I say sophisticated I mean they can go in more places than say pop music or folk music.”

Johnson finds the attraction to jazz “is never ending and I can always find a new way of looking at a song.”

Once again Johnson’s desire to discover music that touches her and that she can in turn use to touch the lives of others contributed to the song selection for These Days. “On my CD I don’t do just standard and I don’t want to only do standards I love them but I want to find songs that can express more of who I am and can bring these different colors and sounds,” she says.

Johnson has combined the old and the new to great effect with this most recent release. She provides soulful Portuguese vocalize on “Esperanca Perdida”, adds satirical lyrics to Charles Mingus’ “Noddin’ Ya Head Blues” (a look at white collar crime) and takes a playful approach to “No Moon At All”.

Darek Oles bass work comps the singer nicely and delivers the evocative quality to the music that Johnson continually strives for. “I really like musicians who bring out emotions because it is like they are speaking to me through their instrument,” she says.

Although Larry Koonse appears on guitar, Roy McCurdy on drums and Ana Gazzola provides percussion it is the chemistry of Oles and Johnson that makes These Days work so well. “I like the intimacy and the interaction between just the two instruments. I like the relationship between the voice and the bass because in reality they are both single line instruments although we do know the bass can play some chords,” she says.

Johnson finds both the contrast and dynamic between her high soprano voice and the bass to be exhilarating. “It has been a challenge for me to work within my lower range. The higher (range) is a piece of cake for me. In fact on my past CDs I have really gone to the extremes of my high end. I just felt I wanted to explore the other end (of my range) a little bit more. I wanted this (These Days) to be beautiful and simple,” she says.

“Darek is such a lyrical bass player and as I said in my liner notes I felt as if he was singing with me. He has this beautiful sense of a lyric line. He has gorgeous warmth in his bass sound. Darek is very creative and spontaneous which is what I needed,” she says.

Johnson feels that Oles’ ability to think outside the boxfrom what a bass player might traditionally play contributed to the success of These Days. She says, “I didn’t want somebody who would just do walking bass lines behind me. I wanted somebody who could add personality and who would express himself whether it was a lyrical nature, rhythmic nature or whatever it was. He wasn’t somebody I had to encourage to do that, he just has it. It was a lot of fun. We just kind of clicked together. It was a magical experience for both of us.”

The songs on These Days have many textures and like a child blowing bubbles through a ring you find each new one is unique, fascinating and beautiful.

Although Johnson is renowned for her work as a teacher and composer she has a reminder for us, “Everybody is so concerned about technique but let’s not forget that it is the heart and soul of the music that we want to get to. The people who are really astounding sing from their souls.”

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Monika Heidemann Pushing the Envelope in Jazz

Monika Heidemann joins Julie Hardy and Brenda Earle as part of the new wave of really good contemporary Jazz singer/composers coming out of New York City. One couldn't hope for a more resounding endorsement than she received from highly respected Dominique Eade, "Monika always had her ear pointed in a different direction; she wasn't going for the beaten path and she stayed true to the sound she was after. She's smart, hip and has a great sense of humor, all of which show up in her stylish, heartfelt and intriguing music." Like her good friend Julie Hardy, Heidemann sought out Eade's expertise as a vocal coach.

With her debut album Bright Heidemann has indeed embarked on a different path than most Jazz artists venture down. She describes the CD as, "a palette of everything that I like. When I listen to the album I think a lot of the songs are quite different. It is personal and has a mysterious quality to it. It is melancholic, dreamy and ethereal (all at the same time)." She says that some of the songs bear a stronger element to them that originates within "my upbringing in the rock (music) of the eighties."

Before embarking on a solo career Heidemann had performed in a variety of genres with different ensembles. In some settings she was a side person playing her saxophone. It is Heidemann's diverse background singing in an a cappella ensemble, performing for a rock band, singing in a reggae group and directing a choral group in Vermont that have contributed to the many colors of Bright.

The opening track "Organs" is a composite of a cappella vocals introducing what is best described as surrealistic soft rock meets Jazz instrumentals. The lyrics to "Organ" are not only off the beaten path you won't even find them near the path! Here's a bit of a preview, "I've got some friends/who are living inside me/Organs and flesh, Bones bones!/ I saw the serpent/We have more hair than she we are/better off, I think/

In the year 2000 the singer/composer added another element to her musical repertoire. She left the American music scene for Brazil. "I wanted to get away but keep it musical," she says and then continues, "I wanted to experience another culture and live in a place that I didn't know anything about. I rented an apartment in Salvador, learned the music and learned the language." She says most often her teachers for both were the street musicians she encountered.

In speaking about the wide array of music that she is drawn to Heidemann says, "I think in this day and age most musicians are like that. We explore because we have access to so much. The world is getting smaller. It is not uncommon for every musician to know about almost everything that is going on in the world of music (in terms of) style and what it all sounds like." When it comes to her own compositions she says, "It is not something that I really think about. (For instance I don't) say, 'Oh I will do a rock section here or I will do a Brazilian section there. It is more of an internal thing. I think I have soaked up a lot of different styles and different sounds."

"I really like the idea of having the musicians tell the story of the song rather than just the singer tell the story. I like to have that completeness to it. It's not that I don't like what other singers do; it has just been my approach. I like that sound," Heidemann comments concerning the way she has approached her music in the past.

One of the more prominent musicians who appears on this album is the talented vibraphonist Matt Moran. "I believe that only Matt Moran could really be playing my music in the way that I was envisioning it at the time. I saw him for the first time a few years ago when I first moved to New York City. (He was performing) with The Claudia Quintet. He has a great sound and is creative. Nobody plays the vibraphone like him. The dreaminess and tone quality of the vibraphone I think compliments my music a lot."

The other instrument that comes to the forefront on the CD Bright is the bass. "I really love the bass. It is one of my favorite instruments in Jazz. I think it (adds) to the darkness on some of the songs. I think a lot of the songs on Bright are pretty dark," says Heidemann.

Heidemann demonstrates her prowess in Jazz with "The Race" as the tune opens with a liberal dose of scat before descending into a more subtle Jazz tune supported by Moran's vibraphone.

Heidemann confesses to being partial to creating more of a complete band feeling with her music and although only drums, guitar, bass and vibraphone appear on the recording she has been successful in accomplishing a much fuller sound. This is particularly evident during the instrumental portions of the title track "Bright" that reach for a more orchestral sound.

Heidemann's music is infused with ethereal instrumentals and her lyrics with whimsical imagery. The poetry of "Keep On" should be a must read on the syllabus of any English major. The instrumentals are weaved seamlessly with the lyrics and provide beautiful textures that you can peel back endlessly.

Heidemann admits she has been taking a new approach to her compositions recently, "I always have these lyrics in my head and I am continually writing them down. I am actually starting from that standpoint more than I ever have been." She says this was the approach she took with her title track. "I am finding that when I write the lyrics there is a very natural rhythm to them. If you take any kind of lyric whether it is poetry or music there is always some kind of rhythm that naturally flows through it. It is about being sensitive to that. You play with that rhythmically in your head and then find a nice phrasing for it," she says.

Continuing to discuss the composing of "Bright" she says, "With Bright it was the melody and the harmony coming out at the same time. I worked with the bass line first along with the melody," she says. Heidemann says her usual approach is to begin working, "with the melody and working the bass line out in my head afterwards."

"Lately when I sit down to write something there will be a mood to those lyrics when I sit down to write or I will put myself in that mood to bring out whatever the mood to the lyrics are," says Heidemann.

Keep your ears open for Monika Heidemann because you are going to be hearing a lot of good music from her in the days ahead.

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